And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
