That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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