Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
