I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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