i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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