So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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