sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
