I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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