Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
