Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
