Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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