i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
