she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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