No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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