She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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