I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
