so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
now i know why i became what i already was.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
