508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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