OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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