you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
