Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
