So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
