my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
