how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
