I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
