honey bunches of taint.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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