youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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