this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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