We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
