I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
