I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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