A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Randomize
