ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
