You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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