Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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