is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I feel great
I just peed on a car
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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