Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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