It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I am naked and annoyed.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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