Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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