Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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