The brown eye won't let me do that either.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
