that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i would punch a child for taco bell
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You need a sexual gate keeper
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
