I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
