God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
