Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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