He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
