Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
i need some magic done to my vagina
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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