have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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