no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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