Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
